Jance: A Life of Recovery and Not Looking Back

Jance Deiker, 42, lives a life filled with love. 20 years have gone by since his recovery, yet his life of drugs, music, and sex doesn’t seem so long ago as he recalls his old ways.

Everyone looks for self-love and a sense of identity. When asked what started his drug habit, he answered, “70s and 80s rock bands were my inspiration, and I fell in love with the idea of becoming like them. At one point, I found my answer in drugs.”


He continued to describe how he spiraled further into drugs. “Using drugs made me feel like my life is awesome. It allowed me to see life from a different angle, it expanded my creativity horizon, it made me feel like I could slow down life as I like it. It made me feel at peace with myself.”


Despite feeling like he was on top of the world, the people around him knew he needed help. However, when a therapist was provided, he denied the need for one. “What was the need for a therapist when I feel like my life has never been better?” He could not have known the euphoria was only temporary.


As with drugs, all highs were followed by a comedown. He went through a paranoid phase for a month where he was isolated, thought he had lost his mind, and felt as if the world was coming for him and his loved ones. His whole identity that came from his desire to become like the 70s and 80s rock bands were instantly stripped away when he had no choice but to stop using. He felt–and was–lost.


During his path to recovery, Jance traveled to Japan for a year. It was there that he found the true value of his relationships. “It was funny how during my drug-filled days, I became distant with my family. And after my recovery, most of my friends who had used drugs with me since high school were instantly gone.” He realised that for his recovery to stay permanent, he needed to reprogram his mindset to heal and rediscover who he was.


His relationship with God made him discover his true self, helping him reconcile with himself. “Relationships became primary in my life. I built relationships that are healthier after my recovery,” ones that were with the right people, himself, and God.


When I asked whether he was ever tempted to return to drugs, he chuckled and answered with no hesitation, “Never”.